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ONLY GOOD NEWS? FEB/MAY 2002 VOLUME TEN - NUMBER ONE / PUBLISHED: 20 FEB 2002
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BAD COP - NO DOUGHNUT
PUBLISHED: 20 FEB 2002 NOW THAT SOCIETY SEEMS TO BE LEANING TOWARDS FORMING A 'NEW ASHCROFTIAN REALITY', I HAVE A FEW STORIES TO TELL... TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, THE FOLLOWING IS THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP ME ME. 1) ONE NIGHT WHILE RIDING A SKATEBOARD IN A PARKING LOT ON THE OLD EL CAMINO CRUISE STRIP (BEFORE YOUNG PEOPLE HAD THEIR RIGHTS STRIPPED A FEW YEARS BACK) A COP CRUISED THROUGH THE PARKING LOT. LIKE AN IDIOT, I WENT UP TO ASK WHAT TIME IT WAS, AND HE THEN TURNED ON ME LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND TOLD ME NOT TO RIDE IN THE PARKING LOT. (IF I HAD NOT SPOKEN TO HIM, HE WOULD NOT HAVE EVEN STOPPED) AFTER THAT HE POINTED TOWARDS THE STREET AND SAID TO GO. I JUMPED ON MY BOARD AND TOOK OFF INTO THE STREET, AND HE SAID TO STOP RIDING AGAIN. HE THEN GAVE ME A TICKET FOR RIDING IN THE STREET! BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID DON'T RIDE IN THE PARKING LOT!?! DOESN'T MATTER. 28 DOLLAR TICKET. I TOOK IT TO COURT, AND THE COP SHOWED UP AND LIED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED… I TOLD THE JUDGE THAT HE LIED, AND WHETHER THE JUDGE BELIEVED THAT HE WAS LYING OR NOT, HE REDUCED MY FINE FROM ABOUT $28 TO $14... (MANY YEARS LATER, I APPROACHED A CUPERTINO SHERIFF LOUNGING IN HIS CAR IN A PARKING LOT WAY BACK BEFORE JOSEPH MCNAMARA'S PROGRESSIVE POLICIES TOOK HOLD, GO TO: HTTP://WWW-HOOVER.STANFORD.EDU/BIOS/MCNAMARA.HTML , AND ONCE AGAIN, I WAS TREATED LIKE A CRIMINAL FOR JUST MERELY BEING FRIENDLY… I GAVE UP ATTEMPTING TO COMMUNICATE WITH COPS IN A CIVILIZED MANNER EVER SINCE, EVEN THOUGH MCNAMARA'S PHILOSOPHIES HAVE MADE THINGS BETTER SINCE THEN...) 2) AROUND THE SAME TIME AS STORY NUMBER ONE, SOME FRIENDS AND I WERE SPENDING OUR TIME 'WISELY' BY HANGING AROUND DRINKING BEER IN A PARKING LOT ON THE OLD EL CAMINO REAL CRUISE STRIP NEAR KEILY ROAD... TWO COPS ARRIVED AND PROCEEDED TO 'ALMOST ARREST US'. ONE OF THE COPS TOOK THE BUDWEISER BEER CANS WE WERE DRINKING, SET THEM ON A YARD HIGH WALL AND HIT THEM LIKE BASEBALLS, SENDING THE CANS FLYING OFF INTO OBLIVION... THEY LET US GO WITH A WARNING AND SHIVERING KNEES. WE WERE KIND OF HALF WAY PISSED-OFF AT THESE COPS, AND HALF WAY THOUGHT THEY WERE COOL FOR HITTING THOSE BEER CANS SO EXPERTLY. 3) AROUND THE SAME TIME AS STORY NUMBER TWO, A FRIEND OF MINE SHOWED UP AT 1 AM ONE ANCIENT TEENAGE SATURDAY NIGHT OF MINE, AND WANTED TO GO OUT CRUISING... (ON THE OLD EL CAMINO STRIP, ONCE AGAIN, WAY BACK WHEN TEENAGERS ACTUALLY HAD RIGHTS). WHILE OUT CRUISING, A COP ON THE COMPLETE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD, APPARENTLY SAW MY FRIEND'S CAR AND DROVE HIS CAR OVER THE MEDIAN BARRIER IN HOT PURSUIT OF US. AFTER PULLING US OVER, AND HAVING SEVERAL OTHER BACKUP UNITS ARRIVE SHORTLY THEREAFTER, HE CALLED OUT MY FRIEND'S NAME OVER HIS BULLHORN-SPEAKER, (AS THEY WERE JUST GETTING COMPUTERS IN COP CARS BACK THEN)... MY FRIEND GOT OUT OF THE CAR WITH HIS HANDS UP AS SPECIFIED, AND THEN I WAS ASKED TO THE SAME… I GOT OUT OF THE CAR, YELLING MY HEAD OFF LIKE A BANSHEE WITH EIGHT SHOTGUNS POINTED AT US... (AND A BAG OF 'THAT WEED' IN MY UNDERWEAR THEY NEVER FOUND... THIS WAS OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO, MIND YOU...) THE PRIMER PAINT ON THE CAR APPARENTLY FIT THE DESCRIPTION OF SOME LIQUOR STORE BANDITS, WHICH WE WERE NOT... THEY LOOKED AT US LIKE THEY WISHED THEY HAD SHOT US, AND LET US GO... (AND SEEING HOW I AM NOW WRITING ABOUT IT, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, AFTER ALL, THE JUDGE WOULD PROBABLY ALWAYS LET THEM OFF ANYWAY, RIGHT?) 4) ONE DAY ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO WHILE SIMPLY WALKING TO MY VEHICLE FROM AN OUTDOOR MUSIC FESTIVAL IN DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE WITH A FRIEND, AN IRATE LOOKING COP PASSED BY AND ALMOST LUNGED AT US AT FIRST SIGHT, BUT FOR SOME REASON PULLED BACK WHEN HE DID NOT SENSE FEAR FROM US, MUCH LIKE A STREET GANG MEMBER WOULD ACT. (DOGS SEEM TO ATTACK THOSE WHO ARE AFRAID OF THEM, THEY CAN SMELL IT... UNFORTUNATELY, I AM NOT AFRAID OF DOGS, REGARDLESS OF ALL THE SAN FRANCISCO MEDIA HYPE PORTRAYING THEM AS TERRORISTS) 5) A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE AT AN OLD JOB OF MINE BACK IN THE SHIPPING RECEIVING DEPARTMENT WHILE PICKING UP DELIVERIES. AFTER TALKING FOR A LITTLE WHILE, WE SOMEHOW GOT ON THE SUBJECT OF HIM BEING INDICTED (OR IN OTHER WORDS, HARRASSED) FOR HAVING A ROOMATE WHO GOT CAUGHT WITH LOTS OF 'THAT WEED' IN HIS ROOM. HE SAID THAT AT ONE POINT, A D.E.A. AGENT THREATENED HIS LIFE, SAYING THAT IF HE DID NOT COOPERATE WITH HIM, HE WOULD BASICALLY END HIS LIFE AND NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND A CLUE. HIS GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCED HARASSMENT AS WELL WITH THE PHONE RINGING AND NO ONE ON THE LINE RIGHT AS SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SHOWER NUMEROUS TIMES. GOVERNMENT/INVESTIGATIVE HARASSMENT AT ITS' FINEST. AND AFTER ALL, WHO IS GOING TO BUST THE GOVERNMENT? 6) AFTER A SQUIRREL HAD JUST GOTTEN RUN OVER ON OUR STREET, AND WATCHING ANOTHER SQUIRREL HOVER OVER THE CARCASS UP IN A TREE IN DISMAY, (AS SQUIRRELS ARE ACTUALLY MORE ADVANCED SOCIALLY THAN ONCE THOUGHT) I MADE UP SOME SIGNS THAT SAID 'ROAD KILL IS MURDER' AND JAMMED OFF ON MY BIKE TO HANG THEM UP IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AS A DIRECT, IF NOT A BIT EXTREME, WAY TO RAISE CONSCIOUSNESS ON THE ISSUE. I MADE A LEFT TURN ONTO A STREET WHERE A SANTA CLARA COP WAS SITTING AT A STOP SIGN LOOKING DOWN DISTRACTED AT SOMETHING IN HIS LAP, AND APPARENTLY STARTLED HIM INADVERTENTLY. HE THEN TURNED HIS CAR AROUND AND CAME AFTER ME WITH HIS COP EGO SHATTERED, AS I WENT TO MY WOMAN FRIEND'S HOUSE DOWN THE STREET. I WAS VERY WINDED AT THE TIME AFTER RIDING MY BIKE AT A MILLION MILES AN HOUR, AND UPSET AS WELL ABOUT THE SQUIRREL. HE ASKED ME IF I HAD A DRIVER'S LICENSE (FOR RIDING A BIKE!) BACKED ME UP AGAINST MY FRIEND'S GARAGE WALL TO QUESTION ME, PUT HIS HAND ON HIS HOLSTER, AS IF PREPARING TO SHOOT ME, THEN LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER TO SEE IF ANYONE WAS LOOKING TO WITNESS HIS GOVERNMENT SANCTIONED MURDER. HE QUICKLY SAW THAT THERE WERE TOO MANY APARTMENT WINDOWS WITH POSSIBLE WITNESSES AND BACKED OFF... (NO, THIS DOES NOT ONLY HAPPEN TO PEOPLE OF COLOR...) MY WOMAN FRIEND'S BRITISH GUITAR PLAYER BOYFRIEND WAS STANDING JUST BEHIND ME IN THE WINDOW AND WITNESSED IT ALL, AND DID NOT COME OUTSIDE, AS HE DID NOT TRUST COPS AFTER BEING FALSELY ACCUSED IN A PROTEST IN ENGLAND OF ASSAULTING AN OFFICER... I INFORMED THE OFFICER THAT MANY OF THE NEW TRAFFIC SIGNS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD WERE THERE BECAUSE OF MY ACTIVISM, THAT I AM IN REGULAR CONTACT WITH TRAFFIC ENGINEERING, AND THAT THE ONLY REASON HE IS EVEN IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, IS BECAUSE I CALLED TRAFFIC ENGINEERING DEMANDING IT FEW DAYS AGO!!! (AS HE STANDS THERE DEBATING ABOUT WHETHER TO SHOOT ME...) HE SHRINKS DOWN, PUTS HIS TAIL BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND GETS IN HIS CAR AND SCURRIES OFF, PROBABLY HOPING I WOULD NOT FILE A POLICE COMPLAINT. WELL, YOU GOT IT BUCKO, I KNEW I WOULD WRITE ABOUT IT EVENTUALLY, AND HERE IT IS... IS THAT WHAT I GET FOR CALLING FOR THE POLICE TO PATROL THE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR TRAFFIC? DURING THE PEAK OF THE GOD AWFUL INTERNET REVOLUTION TRAFFIC, THE CITIES WERE ESSENTIALLY GENTRIFYING BY GIVING PEOPLE THE SILENT MESSAGE, 'IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE MESS WE HAVE MADE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE, (SO WE CAN RE-ASSESS THOSE OLD PROPERTY TAXES, AND MAKE EVEN MORE MONEY DOWN THE LINE?) … AND TO THE COP, I WAS NOT OFF IN A CUBICLE SOMEWHERE AT A SEMI-SOCIALIST SEMICONDUCTOR PLANT (WITH MY RIGHTS STRIPPED BY ANGRY ASEXUAL FEMINISTS LED ON BY THEIR LESBIAN LEADERS) GENERATING TAX DOLLARS FOR HIS GOVERNMENT SYSTEM, SO I MUST BE SCUM, RIGHT? (*THE CITY OF SANTA CLARA HAS SINCE THEN IGNORED TWO NEIGHBORHOOD WIDE PETITIONS FOR SPEED HUMPS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, REGARDLESS OF THE NINE ACCIDENTS ON OUR PROPERTY OVER TWENTY YEARS, AND WILL STILL DO NOTHING WITHOUT THE THREAT OF A LAWSUIT... AND NOW WITH REPUBLICANS IN HIGH OFFICE, FOR NOW EVERYBODY HAS KIND OF GIVEN UP... EXCEPT FOR ME AND A FEW OTHERS. IT SEEMS SOME CITIES ARE COMFORTABLE IGNORING 15,000 PEOPLE WHO SIGNED A PETITION, THEN TURN AROUND AND LISTEN TO ONE PERSON WHO WHINES ABOUT A SPEED HUMP) 7) THREE YEARS AGO I WAS FEEDING SOME NEIGHBORHOOD DUCKS THAT USED TO COME TO MY WINDOW IN THE MORNING. WHEN I SAW A FRIENDLY NEIGHBOR TRYING TO MADLY PLOW THROUGH THEM ON HIS WAY TO WORK, I WENT OUT THE NEXT MORNING TO TRY AND FLAG HIM DOWN TO TELL HIM TO MELLOW OUT, AND I WAS NEARLY RUN OVER STANDING JUST A FEW FEET FROM THE CURB, (WHERE STATE LAW CLEARLY PROTECTS ME AS A PEDESTRIAN). THE NEXT DAY I WAS STANDING IN THE SAME PLACE, AND HE CAME RIPPING BY AGAIN CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME TO REACH MY HAND OUT AND TOUCH HIS WINDOW. QUITE PERTURBED THAT I HAD TOUCHED HIS PRECIOUS WINDOW, YET COMFORTABLE WITH NEARLY RUNNING ME OVER REPEATEDLY, HE PULLED OVER AND STOPPED HIS CAR. I WENT TO HIS DRIVER'S WINDOW TO TALK TO HIM AND HE STARTED GETTING OUT OF HIS CAR IN A THREATENING FASHION, (SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A COP WOULD SAY, DOESN'T IT?) IT WAS SIX IN THE MORNING AND I WAS STANDING IN THE STREET WITH MY SLIPPERS, AND WHILE I COULD EASILY TAKE ON THIS GUY IN A SECOND, I HAD NO INTENTION OF SCUFFLING WITH HIM, AS I AM DEDICATED TO NON-VIOLENCE... (IN OTHER WORDS, I AM NOT AFRAID OF WALKING AWAY FROM A FIGHT, AS MANY MEN ARE) I GOT HIS LICENSE AND RAN INSIDE AND CALLED THE POLICE, AND THREE OFFICERS SHOWED UP (BECAUSE OF MY CITY'S LOW CRIME RATE). I TOLD THEM THE WHOLE STORY AND THE COPS WENT TO THE OFFENDERS HOUSE AND SPOKE TO HIS WIFE, AFTER HE HAD FLED THE SCENE AND WENT TO WORK... SHE THEN CALLED HIM AT WORK AND HE CORROBORATED THE WHOLE STORY, AND NO POLICE REPORT WAS FILED AS I DID NOT WANT TO PRESS CHARGES, I JUST WANTED HIM TO SLOW DOWN. ONE COP GAVE ME A REAL EVIL LOOK AND JUMPED IN HIS CAR AND SPED OFF, SLAMMING HIS DOOR. "BAD COP - NO DOUGHNUT" continued below... |
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"BAD COP - NO DOUGHNUT" continued...PUBLISHED: 20 FEB 2002
(MIND YOU, IF THIS HAD HAPPENED TO A TEENAGE GIRL OR A LITTLE OLD LADY, MISTER NEIGHBOR WOULD BE IN JAIL NOW FOR CORROBORATING THE STORY, WHETHER I WANTED TO PRESS CHARGES OR NOT, BECAUSE I WOULD THEN BE A 'HELPLESS VICTIM'... DISCRIMINATION, PLAIN AND SIMPLE…) THE POLICEMAN , ACTUALLY A REALLY COOL ROOKIE, WROTE NO REPORT AND TOLD FRIENDLY MISTER NEIGHBOR MAN TO GO AROUND THE BLOCK THE OTHER WAY FROM NOW ON TO AVOID CONFRONTATION, WHICH HE PROMPTLY IGNORED THE NEXT DAY. I THEN TRIED TO CALL THE POLICE AND PRESS CHARGES AS THIS MAN WAS ACTING VERY THREATENINGLY, AND WAS TOLD TO GO AWAY BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS ON CHRISTMAS VACATION. (THE NICEST PHONE COP WAS A LADY COP, I LIKED HER ALOT...WE NEED MORE LADY COPS...) I FINALLY LEFT A FEW NOTES ON THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBOR'S PROPERTY CONSISTING OF A LIK ROPER CD, WHICH WAS MAGICALLY LEFT OUT OF THE EVENTUAL 'EVIDENCE', AND A COPY OF ONLY GOOD NEWS, AS MY PERHAPS TWISTED YET PERFECTLY LEGAL WAY OF GETTING AQUAINTED WITH MY FRIENDLY NEIGHBORS, AND AS FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION IN THE CONSTITUTION CLEARLY ALLOWS... FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, REMEMBER? (ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS THIS KIND OF TRASHING OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS A GRAVE DANGER TO US ALL AND SHOULD LEAVE THE COUNTRY OR SOMETHING...) ONE OF THE NOTES WAS A PRINTED OUT EMAIL TO THE CITY THREATENING TO SUE FOR NEGLECT, AS I HAD BEEN EMAILING THE CITY FOR MONTHS COMPLAINING ABOUT EXCESS SPEEDING AND TRAFFIC IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD... WHILE I GENERALLY DO NOT BELIEVE IN FEEDING LAWYERS BY SOLVING THINGS IN COURT, IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME, AND SOMETIMES THEY NEED A SPARK UNDER THEIR ASS TO GET THEM TO WORK LIKE THEY SHOULD. YOU MIGHT KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU GET EXTRA WORK YOU MAY NOT WANT TO DO… I GAVE THE CITY COUNCIL NOTE TO A FEW OTHER NEIGHBORS AS WELL, WHICH ORIGINATED AS A PRINTED OUT EMAIL LETTER TO THE SUNNYVALE CITY COUNCIL THREATENING A LAWSUIT FOR NEGLECT, IT ESSENTIALLY SAID THAT I WAS GOING TO PRESS CHARGES AND SUE THE CITY (IES) FOR NEGLECT BECAUSE I HAD BEEN ASKING FOR TRAFFIC CALMING FOR MONTHS, AND NOW I ALMOST GOT RUN OVER. (THIS SAME EMAIL TO THE CITY COUNCIL ENDED UP AS RESTRAINING ORDER 'EVIDENCE' IN THE FAMILY COURT!!!) A FEW DAYS LATER TWO COPS SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR IN A NAZI-STALINIST FASHION SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT 'THERE'S A SKIRMISH DOWN AT CITY HALL' (AS ONE WITNESSED) THREATENING 'PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING' , PROBABLY AS A WAY OF STOPPING ANY CHANCES OF WINNING A LAWSUIT... (I WOULD ONLY FILE A LAWSUIT AS A LAST RESORT)... PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE A THREAT TO THEMSELVES OR OTHERS, SO WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? THE DEPTHS OF GOVERNMENT HELL, OR WHAT? (AND BESIDES, I BELIEVE THAT MANY WIDELY ACCEPTED 'OFFICIAL' MODELS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR GENERALLY EMBRACED BY THE MODERN PSYCHIATRIC COMMUNITY ARE A BIT QUESTIONABLE DUE TO THE NOTION THAT AN EVER-INCREASING POPULATION OF TRULY UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS GRADUALLY DECREASE THE STATISTICAL ODDS OF AN EXISTENTIAL UNIVERSAL IDIOSYNCRATIC NORM) THE NEIGHBORS, FEARING I WAS GOING TO PRESS CHARGES, PUT TOGETHER OBVIOUSLY BOGUS DEPOSITIONS, AND THE COPS GAVE ME A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER, FORBIDDING ME TO STAND IN THE STREET WHERE I WAS NEARLY RUN OVER OF ALL THINGS!!! IT SEEMS THE GOVERNMENT IS WILLING TO RESORT TO VIOLATING PEOPLE'S CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, TO SAVE MONEY ON LAWSUITS OR SOMETHING… THE LAST CALL I MADE BEFORE THE INITIAL TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER TO THE CITY OF SUNNYVALE WAS TO A PHONE COP WHO HAPPENED TO BE THE ROOKIE COP'S BROTHER, A VETERAN COP. I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO FILE A LAWSUIT, AND HIS VOICE GOT REAL MEAN AND LOW AND HE ASKED ME WHAT MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER WAS...I WENT DOWN THE NEXT DAY TO GET MY 911 READOUT, AND THE WHOLE THING WAS BLANKED OUT BECAUSE WHAT WAS WRITTEN WOULD HAVE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING, AND EASILY GOTTEN ME OFF THE HOOK IN COURT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, A SUNNYVALE OFFICER SHOWED UP IN COURT TO REPRESENT THE MAN WHO ALMOST RAN ME OVER AND BATTERED ME, AND I WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED THE POLICE!!! THE JUDGE SAID SOMETHING TO THE COP LIKE 'THIS IS A NEIGHBORHOOD MATTER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE'? BECAUSE SHE INSTINCTIVELY KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG, BUT WHEN SHE SAW THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO CONTEST IT, BECAUSE ACCEPTING THE RESTRAINING ORDER IS NOT AN ADMISSION OF GUILT, AND WILL NOT BE ON MY RECORD, FAIR ENOUGH BY ME, SHE RAN ME THROUGH AND WENT ON TO THE NEXT CASE. I GUESS SOME CALL IT TAKING THE FIFTH, I CALL IT BEING PERPLEXED… THE MOST INSULTING THING WAS BEING DENIED THE ABILITY TO OWN A GUN, WHEN I NEVER EVEN WANTED ONE ANYWAY!!! (REAL MEN DON'T OWN GUNS…) AFTERWARDS IN THE HALLWAY, IN FRONT OF TWO WITNESSES, THE COP IN COURT SAID HE NEVER EVEN TALKED TO THE ORIGINAL OFFICER ON THE SCENE, THE ROOKIE WHO FRIENDLY MISTER NEIGHBOR MAN CORROBORATED THE STORY TO. (SINCE THEN THE CITY OF SUNNYVALE REQUIRES REPORTS FOR EVERY STOP, AND THE POLICE CHIEF, WHO I THINK WAS AWARE OF MY BOGUS RESTRAINING ORDER, QUIT ONE WEEK AFTER THE RESTRAINING ORDER WAS GIVEN, JUST OVER THREE YEARS AGO... I HEAR THERE ARE GOOD JOBS IN WASTE MANAGEMENT…) 8) AFTER MEETING A LOCAL WOMAN OVER AN INTERNET DATING SERVICE, WE AGREED TO GO OUT …SHE THEN CAME OVER TO PICK ME UP, AND WE WENT OUT TO DINNER. AFTER BEING JACKED AROUND FOR A FEW MONTHS BY ANOTHER CHICK IN PORTLAND WHO PROMISED TO FLY OUT NUMEROUS TIMES AND NEVER DID, AND PLANNING AN EXTENSIVE AND EXPENSIVE FIRST DATE FOR HER ONLY TO HAVE HER FLAKE OUT, I WASN'T GOING TO THE MOON FOR THIS ONE JUST YET… I BOUGHT HER DINNER, AND WE TALKED FOR A LITTLE WHILE. AFTER DINNER SHE DROPPED ME OFF AND SAID SHE HAD A GOOD TIME, AND WANTED TO SEE ME AGAIN. I SAID I WOULD CALL THE NEXT DAY, SHE SAID OK. WHILE I COULD FIND A FEW THINGS THAT I DID NOT LIKE ABOUT HER, LIKE HER HYPER-CONSCIOUSNESS OF HER LUSCIOUS BREASTS, (YES, I SNUCK A PEEK ONCE) THINKING I WAS LOOKING AT HER PERKY FRIENDS WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING AT THE TORTILLA ON HER PLATE, I GENERALLY REALLY LIKED HER A LOT AS A NEW FRIEND, IF NOTHING ELSE… I CALLED THE NEXT DAY AND A FEW MORE TIMES SPREAD OUT OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, WITH NO RETURN CALLS... PERPLEXED, I FINALLY CHECKED MY EMAIL AND FOUND A TERSE LETTER TELLING ME I DID NOT SHARE HER DREAMS OR SOMETHING. (I THOUGHT YOUR DREAMS WERE YOURS, AND MY DREAMS ARE MINE?) I SENT OFF A FEW MORE LONG EMAILS TRYING TO WIN HER OVER AND CALLED THE NEXT DAY ASKING HER OUT TO AN UPCOMING SHOW. SHE ALMOST AGREED, THEN SAID NO... THE VERY NEXT DAY A POLICE OFFICER CALLS AND TELLS ME TO STOP CALLING HER, OF ALL THINGS!!! I KNOW ABOUT 'I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE', BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!! SO, IN MY HIATUS FROM DATING IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, (CAUSED BY A COMBINATION OF THE SILICON VALLEY'S 4-1 RATIO OF MEN TO WOMEN, AND MY LACK OF MONEY TO PURCHASE A HIGH-PRICED SILICON VALLEY WOMAN … YES, CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM IS NEEDED IN DATING AS WELL AS POLITICS, IF FOR NOTHING ELSE, TO REDUCE DIVORCE FILINGS… NO, I'M NOT DESPERATE, AS I HAVE TURNED DOWN CHEAP SEX 4-5 TIMES DURING THIS TIME PERIOD AND RIGHTLY SO IF THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT'S AIDS VIRUS IS LURKING OUT THERE…) AMERICA HAS TURNED INTO A SOCIALIST MIND-CONTROL, BEHAVIORAL MODIFICATION STATE, WHERE LAW ENFORCEMENT OF ALL THINGS ENDS UP NOW UNCOMFORTABLY INVOLVED IN OUR PRIVATE BUSINESS, ALL BASED ON BULLSHIT HEARSAY EVIDENCE!?! HAVING A VERY HIGH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, I WOULD FIND IT ABSOLUTELY UNCONSCIOUNABLE TO TREAT SOMEONE IN SUCH A COLD AND ROUNDABOUT WAY, AS I WOULD NOT TREAT A DOG THE WAY SHE TREATED ME… (SO HOW CAN ANIMAL RIGHTS ISSUES PROGRESS IF HUMANS STILL TREAT OTHER HUMANS SO BADLY? ANYWAY…) AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL GRAMMA SOMETIMES HATED GRAMPA AT FIRST, BUT WHEN SHE GOT TO KNOW HIM, SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HAS BEEN KICKIN IT ON THE COUCH WITH HIM EVER SINCE. MOST WOMEN DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY REALLY FEEL ABOUT SOMEONE UNTIL THE THIRD DATE ANYWAY, AND ALWAYS SEEMS TO PASS OVER NICE GUYS FOR THAT SWEET-JERK TYPE WHO LEAVES THEM IN THE DARK, SO THESE GOVERNMENT POLICIES ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL THE YIN AND YANG, ATTEMPTING TO DAM UP THE RIVER OF LOVE, ARE DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF EMPOWERING WOMEN. ON ONE HAND, WOMEN ARE BEING ENCOURAGED TO BE 'EMPOWERED' AND YOU SEE ALL THESE STUPID 'COMMANDO-CHICK' TV PROGRAMS WITH ASS-KICKING WOMEN FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, READY TO KICK MAJOR ASS, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, THEY ARE ENCOURAGED TO RESORT TO THIRD PARTIES LIKE THE POLICE TO EXPRESS BASIC THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS TO SOMEONE!!! I BELIEVE THAT REAL EMPOWERMENT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS, AND STARTS EARLY ON. IN OTHER WORDS, WHY ARE TEENAGE BOYS NOW TREATED AS ADULTS FOR THEIR DECISIONS, BUT NOT TEENAGE GIRLS??? WHY DO YOU THINK MEN ARE RULING THE EARTH, LADIES??? TIME TO WAKE UP!!! (DON'T BE FOOLED, REAL EMPOWERMENT IS DEEPENED DEMOCRACY AND HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH MONEY… IT'S ALL ABOUT LOCAL CONTROL OR NO CONTROL, BUT THAT IS ANOTHER ISSUE ALTOGETHER…) AND WHY CAN'T WOMEN JUST SAY WHAT THEY WANT, INSTEAD OF LEAVING IT UP TO MIND READING? (IT NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME, THAT IN THE LIMITLESS SPACE AND TIME OF THE UNIVERSE, WOMEN ALWAYS SEEM TO WANT EVEN MORE SPACE, AND HAVE NO PROBLEM WASTING LIMITLESS QUANTITIES OF OUR TIME...) I HAVE SPOKEN TO AT LEAST FIVE OR SIX OTHER MEN THAT HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED, EVEN DONE JAILTIME, FOR ESSENTIALLY NOTHING, ALL BECAUSE OF THIS HIGHLY UNCONSTITUTIONAL CLINTON-ERA HARASSMENT BULLCRAP. WHETHER OJ DID IT OR NOT, EVERYONE IS NOT OJ AND SHOULD NOT HAVE THEIR RIGHTS VIOLATED BECAUSE OF HIM. IT'S ALL ABOUT HETEROSEXUAL RIGHTS, AND ANY WOMAN WHO CHOOSES TO VIOLATE THE INALIENABLE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS OF ANOTHER MAN BECAUSE SHE IS A DECIDELY SPINELESS, BRAINWASHED VICTIM OF THE MEDIA, SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY OR SOMETHING AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. I TAKE MY RIGHTS VERY SERIOUSLY, AND WILL NOT BE DENIED THEM… WHILE SOME HAVE NOT YET LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF THE 1960S CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT, OTHERS STILL ARE UNAWARE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPORTING HETEROSEXUAL RIGHTS. IN PROTECTING THE RIGHTS OF ONE GROUP, YOU OFTEN INADVERTENTLY END UP DENYING RIGHTS TO ANOTHER, (TERRORISTS ARE NOT THE ONLY THREAT TO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS IN THE U.S., EVER HEARD OF THE TERM 'BLONDE BOMBSHELL'?) AND IT SEEMS THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF OPPRESSION IS CAUSING A LOT OF OVERCOMPENSATION ON THE PART OF WOMEN. TWO WRONGS NEVER MAKE A RIGHT! ANYWAY, I AM GOING ON ABOUT THIS SUBJECT PARTIALLY TO VENT, OBVIOUSLY, BUT ALSO TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR OTHERS WHO MAY READ THIS AND LEARN SOMETHING THAT CAN APPLY TO THEIR LIVES… OK, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT COPS, NOT THE NIGHTMARES OF DATING IN THE NEW ORWELLIAN ECONOMY, SO GETTING BACK TO THE POINT, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT THE GOVERNMENT USES WOMEN, 'MINORITIES' AND CHILDREN TO DENY PEOPLE OF THEIR RIGHTS, AND THIS STORY IS A GOOD EXAMPLE. (NOTE: EVERYONE HAS UNIQUE DNA, THEREFORE EVERYONE IS A MINORITY. PERIOD.) AND I AM NOT CALLING THE WOMAN BACK BECAUSE I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO, NOT BECAUSE THE COP CALLED ME!!! I SIMPLY ASKED HER OUT ON ANOTHER DATE. CALL ME A CRIMINAL. MY FRIEND WARNED ME ABOUT INTERNET PSYCHO-BITCHES… IT DOES NOT SEEM TO MATTER WHETHER IT IS MY FURIOUS NEIGHBOR OR A POTENTIAL DATE, PEOPLE NOW SEEM TO BE ENCOURAGED TO COMMUNICATE THROUGH THE POLICE INSTEAD OF DIRECTLY, AND I GET THE FEELING THIS IS PART OF THE GOVERNMENT'S DIVISIVE MASTER PLAN. ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE, SHE LIKED MY DESK AND I'LL BET SHE WENT OUT AND GOT ONE JUST LIKE IT. (AN EX-GIRLFRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT SHE DATED A BUNCH OF COPS AND DUMPED EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL CONTROL FREAKS. THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH, MIND YOU...) 9) AFTER DOWNING A FEW BASS ALES AT A TAVERN IN PALO ALTO, MY FRIEND AND I DROVE OFF AND RAN A FLASHING RED LIGHT, ONLY TO BE PULLED OVER BY A LADY COP. SHE KNEW I WAS DRUNK BUT NOT THAT DRUNK, AND SHE CALLED HER COMMANDING OFFICER FOR ADVICE. HE SHOWED UP AND ASSESSED THE SITUATION, AND TOLD HER IT WAS UP TO HER TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO. SHE LET ME TAKE A CAB HOME, BUT SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO WATCH MY CAR ALL NIGHT TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T DRIVE IT AWAY DRUNK… WHILE I WAS SORT OF MAD AT THE TIME ABOUT PAYING $17 FOR A CAB, AND HAVING TO SLEEP ON MY FRIEND'S COUCH, I AVOIDED MASSIVE FINES AND ALL THE HASSLE OF A D.U.I. OR A D.W.I., AND HAVE BEEN CAREFUL NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE SINCE THEN...… LESSONS: *DO NOT CALL LAW ENFORCEMENT UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, AND NEVER INVITE THEM INTO YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS UNLESS YOU WANT THOSE RELATIONSHIPS TO COME TO A QUICK END. *HIRE MORE LADY COPS, AND HAVE THEM PERFORM MORE STRIP SEARCHES. *REQUIRE THEM TO INCITE AND AGITATE ALL PENILE CODE ERECTION OCCURRENCES. *BE COOL TO COPS AND THEY WILL GENERALLY BE COOL WITH YOU. *DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. (NOTE: THE MAJORITY OF MY EXPERIENCES WITH JUDGES HAS BEEN FAIR AND GOOD, AND MY EXPERIENCES WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT HAS BEEN MOSTLY POSITIVE AS WELL, BUT AT LEAST PARTIALLY BAD, AND SO I WRITE...)
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